Got a difference of opinion? Bring it on...
Angie@thefishingoddess.com
Want to email me how much you love or hate me? Please note my new email address. You too can be cool like me and have a "fishingoddess" email account. Actually, that would never happen but it can't hurt.
It's ashame that just because I decided to harvest some fish that the freaks are coming out of the wood work. I've been accused first off of Poaching on the Peninsula by some wannabe cop kid who catches spawning fish on the reds of the Upper Hoh and then Booby Balless who also likes to catch spawning fish on the reds of the Upper Hoh, please note that if the fish ain't chrome it's a spawning! They decide to make up complete and utter lies about me.
I do believe and my brethren will agree with me that if you go on a fishing trip it's "ALL ABOUT THE MEAT". Sure we got our limits of fish but we wanted more steelhead to smoke to make all the hundreds of dollars spent on lodging, gas and tackle worth our while. It's not like we can buy it in Seattle without paying the big bucks.
I'm starting to think that the Catch and Release Nazis are so uckin insane that they just don't get what fishing is all about. It's like hunting, you travel far, you camp out and you kill stuff so you can eat it.
I'm just not getting it am I?
Support your Hoh Natives buy fish from them. They really are starving and their reservation is the poorest in Washington State. Since you can only keep five fish a year. I don't see anything wrong with that but then I guess buying clams from them and oysters from them, and salmon from them is bad too.
Oh, and if this doesn't make Booby Balless of Pissy Hissy Pursuits look like a complete and utter asshole I don't know what does. I'm comfortable in my fish prowess is it my fault that he's not comfortable with his? Why is Booby so jealous of me? I think it's because he doesn't get the attention he thinks he deserves. Isn't that kind of like acting like a woman? I guess he just can't handle it that I'm a way better fisherman than him. It eats him up inside like cancer, ya think?
That explains why he gets upset everytime I kick his sorry ass. Remember the days of me getting 8 to 9 fish behind you and your clients Booby? He use to go absolutely nutso when a girl beat him. Poor Booby it must be awful to be beaten time and time again by a woman. That explains a lot ya think?
Well HIDDDDDDYYYYYYY HOH HOH gang!
So what do you all think of them pictures of dead native steelhead I put up? We had a great time catching them and I had a great time killing them, we even sucker punched them on the forehead and some were even netted to death but afterwards I felt bad. That was until I had one for dinner. Talk about oily meat. I guess my stance on “native steelhead taste like shit so they shouldn’t be killed” is now blown to pieces. I should say instead that...
“Native steelhead caught in the Puget Sound tastes like shit and shouldn’t be eaten but right out of the ocean? YUMMMMMM!”
I hate to do this to my wonderful little brethren out there but alas I’m going to have to. I’m going to depress the shit out of one and all and I hate to do it but it was done to me so I’m going to “SHARE THE LOVE”.
First off we’re going to look at these two graphs that I got from the WSC, sure they were put up on Booby’s Bad Ass Board (Ha Ha) BTW some one’s gal pal needs to go on television and participate in the reality show EXTREME MAKEOVERS that is after her stint at a fat farm for a year.
I’m sorry Booby, I now know why you won’t marry her. If she doesn’t take care of herself now what will she look like in five more years? Does Roseanne Barr Ring a Bell? Or how about Rosie O’donnel? I hear my male audience shuddering don’t I? I unfortunately had a run in with her while purchasing gas at the Forks Shell Station and here I thought she had at least a high school education.
As I saw Booby pulling in to get gas, the smoke coming out of his white Dodge Durango like a train engine, I decided that the gas must be really good there. I was taken aback for a bit because Booby was looking really good like he’d gone on some diet. His broad shoulders looked line backer like without the Krispy Kreme Belly. His Simms waders were cinch so tight to reveal the 24 inch waist line he had just acquired. I was so enthralled that I gave Orvis Boy shit afterwards for his Boeing Gut because if Booby could do it...
ANYWAYS...
So I walked in to the store to pay for my gas and there she was! The famous Cowy from Pissy Hissy Pursuits. It was then that I noticed such a stench that I almost began to hurl. It was coming from Cowy and I couldn’t believe my eyes!
She was three times as big as I had previously thought and she was so greasy looking that it looked like she had rolled in a vat of vaseline. Weird ingrown pimples grew like boils upon her fair cheek like jowls, her hair had five inches of black roots and the grease of the unwashed hair of decades was just tapering to drop at the ends of each strand like dew.
I won’t retell what went on afterwards but I looked at the new and studly improved Booby and then I looked at the greasy fatuous mound before me and wondered, why why why!
ANYWAYS... I’m putting the WSC Graphs up so we can graphically see what the hell I’m talking about. Of course I am checking out the data that went into them because you can never trust these C&R Nazis and they might have skewed the information to their own advantage but this is beyond the scope of skewing.
Though keep in mind that I have been told that some of our fishery biologists out there like Curt Kraemer, don’t do a very thorough job in their data collection (coho season shut down on the Skagit for no reason for seven years), but little ol’ Angie is going to find out what is really going on for her brethren.
I am having issues with the number of Skykomish fish and can’t believe that they have plummeted to 2,000 or the Green River steelhead have plummeted to 1500. It just can’t be right. I also notice that with the graphs that this same thing happened in 1978 and we have no prior data previous to that? So is this just one big cycle every 20 years?
Just remember folks let’s get them river systems back open in 2011. Them are going to be the years. Let’s see I’ll be 44 years old and still rowing. Killer..... Yes, I said KILLER.
So after looking at the graphs let us ask ourselves the following questions...
How accurate is the data collected by our fishery biologists?
If it is accurate then why don’t they shut down the steelhead fishery completely? Are our streams being managed by people that have their own personal agenda?
For example... Why are the Chinook runs and Coho runs healthy as a horse when our steelhead and Springer runs are depressed and vice versa?
Based on these graphs why do we think Catch & Release is the answer?
Because it obviously isn’t on Vancouver Island and the same damn depressed stocks occurred back in the 70s. HELLO...
But you know... What do I know I’m not a fishery biologist... I don’t think you need to be a biologist to make these kinds of decisions but you do need to have good ol’ plain common sense.
So what would I do?
SHUT THE WHOLE THING DOWN but until then let’s molest the shit out of the mother fuckers shall we?
Isn’t that the message the WSC is putting out and all them Catch and Release advocates? There are other ways we can put it. LIKE...
The fish are in trouble but my hook in their mouths won’t hurt them.
The mighty steelhead is endangered but being netted a couple of times won’t bother them in the least.
I know these fish are spawning but just one run on the ol’ fly rod and I’ll cut the leader and let them back at it. The steelhead hens find the monofilament coming out my ass sexy...
Or my favorite
It’s one fish out of a thousand left so I don’t think it will mind jumping with my fly in its mouth and me body slamming it as it swims between my legs, so that I can hold its tail out of the water.
Oh, and about my bonking native fish. What was my point to that whole protest?
If I get my right taken away to harvest a fish that I have damaged then I’m going to go on a killing fest like everyone else in the state of Washington right now.
Did you know folks, that when some fish get caught on their spawning beds that it takes them weeks to recover to get enough energy to spawn? Sure most fish will get right back into the action but there are them 25% that will tell the little steelhead wife that they are
“Just too tired to get it up.” Hey, I have an OLD boyfriend that used that excuse all the time what is he 50 by now? Doesn’t he post on Gamefishin.com and drives a big red sled?
I DIGRESS
Here is Anthony Blazak from Oregon. He had a good time ya think?
Oh and here is the stupidest quote of the internet this month...
This quote was made in regards to the 52 plus boats fishing the lower Hoh this weekend, I was one of them. It was made by Booby Balless of Pissy Hissy Pursuits who knows if he fished the lower Hoh he would magically find his drift boat filled with beer cans that were chucked at his head.
Hey, maybe Squishgal could recycle them so she can afford to buy some clothes made in the new millineum. The clothes I saw her wearing were so thread bare that I was afraid that her sagging tits (yes, all the way to her belly button folks) were gonna pop out, but then does one really need to dress up when one works at a gas station? Am I exaggerating like I usually do? For once I hate to say I'm not. They go all the way to her belly button folks.
Booby’s or The Really Big One... wouldn’t he be the Really Big Second?
“Likley well in excess of 150+ dead ones over the week-end on the Hoh this week-end from the sporties GP ... that's more like your hand.”
What did I find out from the fish checkers, when we had a few beers and cracked jokes?
Try 50 dumbass, that’s right they wouldn’t talk to you because they HATE YOU.
Oh and what was my report from the Peninsula...
It looks like if he just squeezed the tail any tighter the milt is just going to spray out doesn't it? That would show up nice against the burgundy shir ya think?
The belly doesn't get any blacker does it? Poor fish...
I mean isn't this kid the perfect example of why we shouldn't leave areas above Hwy 101 open?
How much can these fish take?
He got all mad because I killed a bunch of natives and then claimed that I was poaching above Hwy 101. Why would I do that when I could legally kill them?
Then him and Bob to save face decided that I bought all my fish, that's right every single last one of them from a Hoh Native.
I think this ugly little boy with the dumbo ears is a weeeee bit jealous. Don't you? I mean, I only like to fish low where the fish are bright.
I'll leave pulling tube sock fish off the reds to pros like him and Booby. And yes, in their eyes these fish look virgin chrome...
No wonder they don't like to eat their catch...
Do you think people that molest fish while spawning will ever learn?
The Qualayute system is dead dead dead we only got to kill a few with my personal Native American tagalong throwing natives at me from his net to kill for the pictures. You all know that I do have these sort of connections. I was aghast at the low returns. Some of my buddies that fish it out there haven’t been having a very good year and either have the Nates.
The Natives are already taking their share of the Moratorium but now what are they going to do since it was advanced to May 1st? That’s right they can do whatever they want. That’s right they are saving all the fish for me so that I can take pictures of them and claim them as mine! Put them on ice till next year boys!
Oh, and netting isn’t the real problem. The nice Native American netting the Hoh that we thought was in trouble because he kept bailing water out of his boat, I had asked him if he was all right because he was screaming below us, said that the seals and sea lions are wreaking havoc down below more than usual.
He was sooooo appreciative that we wanted to help him that he gave us a great deal on some native steelhead which are being smoked in my smoker as we speak. He told us he was screaming because of all them 20 pounders he found in his net and he was happy. I have 80 pounds to smoke BTW. I would of bought more but all he had left were hens and they don’t smoke up as well.
Now here’s a deep thought...
What is the difference between trapping game and gillnetting fish? Maybe it is the same kind of “high” that we get when we fish. When we hunt we have trapping, muzzle loading, modern firearms and archery, so I guess when we fish we have gillnets, plugging, bait and fly fishing. It can all be the same pleasurable experience if you think about it.
Would I go back to the Peninsula this year? Maybe the fish are just late?
Nope I would have had a better time fishing my own system at least the fish are brighter where they can be caught in greater numbers and to get that on the Peninsula I have to molest them on their spawning beds. The days of me getting excited over “tube Sock” fish are over. I’ll leave that to Booby, some cop/nark Rich and his clients. How does Booby get them milt stains out of his waders, anyways?
Since this rant is a dedication to Catch and release our new found friend Chappy came up with some great tips on how to...
Hold the fish upside down...
so the blood rushes to their heads so they recover faster
Chappy said it was like hanging upside down and then running a 100 yard dash
Spray WD40 on the fish to replace its slime that’s removed from handling
Pack your hoochie skirt attached to spinner or drift gear with scent and microwave it till it’s firm works great on corkies
Now it’s time for
THE ADVENTURES OF CHAPPY
We arrived at the Oxbow Boat Launch and were surprised when a large man fell out of an old growth tree in the tail out. He looked unconcerned about the drop of 40 feet and as I helped him up he informed me that he was an ex-UFL Fighter and he had dropped from higher positions than that before to land on his rivals.
I asked him why he was up there and he said that he liked to climb trees so that he could spot the fish and see their reds to inspire his poetry writings. With that information I asked him to join us and had the most entertaining float weekend of a lifetime.
Chappy was a happy CNR Nazi Vegan Liberal
Chappy got all excited because he had never drifted before. He asked us to wait a minute as he got his gear. He ran back down to us with a large yellow fiberglass meat stick from the 60s. Orvis Boy began to chuckle and that was when Chappy started explaining his “Vegan Ways of fishing”
Chappy didn’t believe in gas, he didn’t believe in money and he didn’t believe in “the Man”. He made his living by being a walk in guide though he didn’t get any clients because he didn’t believe in advertising. He got about by hitch hiking everywhere and he got all his gear & supplies by scavenging corkies and monofilament along side the river.
I was amazed at Chappy’s blood knotted line. The blood knots were so tiny that the old bait casting reel didn’t even notice them. Chappy said that with so many knots that the line became stronger and didn’t break because of stretching and lasted him for years. When he did lose line he always found more to replace it. Sometimes for fun he would take all the line off and make it taper. Orvis Boy sat there amazed mouth agape.
Then we passed some plunkers and Chappy jumped out of the boat and ran at them screaming. He took the fish out of their hands and began to beat them. His montra being “CATCH AND RELEASE FOREVER!”
I quickly got Chappy back into the boat and apologized to the now scared shitless plunkers. Then we caught our first fish. I told Chappy we were going to bonk it and leave him on the island if he didn’t like it. He got concerned and then grew interested as I made sushi for him. He ate the sushi because he hadn’t eaten for awhile and was soon a bonking machine. Every fish he saw he wanted to kill.
That was when he began to tell us strange animal tales. He was obsessed by the crows he saw and regaled us with how they were the most advanced species of animals ever. They had whole societies and codes that they lived by.
When one crow killed another they would have trials and kill the offending crow. Crows would also have funerals and he had tested this in his back yard one day when he had killed one and his grandpa made him eat it. He threw the remains in the back yard and thus his studies of crow culture had begun.
He told us how he had even observed Crows throw nuts out onto the street at corners so that the squirrels would go out and get hit by oncoming traffic. The crows would then eat their remains.
We were fascinated.
When we had gone to help the Native American screaming at the catch in his nets Chappy began to talk to him in Salish. The Hoh Native just stared at him. Then Chappy began to tell us tales of how he had once visited the SouthWest and had asked the Navajo to sing him songs of the Hopi. He said that after that bad things began to happen to him.
The Native American was so touched that he gave us a bargain on the two chrome bright native bucks that he had just caught. Chappy was so thankful that he began to chant and smoke his peace pipe in appreciation. The happiness was contagious and we all smoked of the peace pipe and laughed our asses off all the way to the take out.
That’s when we saw this guide in a Wild Hair Boat. We couldn’t believe that he was fishing clients that day with rags on the end of floats. We had just got done bitching about how the nets had slowed down the fishing and that any guide that would take clients down the lower Hoh much surely be a total rip off artist.
Chappy wanted to fight him. I then took the net and beat him repeatedly over the head with it till he calmed down. I felt sorry for the guide, for he surely must be poor to have to take clients out when conditions weren’t at their best and that he at least had enough ethics not to fish the spawning grounds above Hwy 101. Though I did have concerns about his ethics since he was fishing without bait in bait open waters. What was he some kind of retard...
Well, till next week for the rest of the Chappy...
As God is his witness the Peninsula is not going to become a fly fishing playground.
Loggers versus wimpy Purist Fly Guys...
Hmmmmm I wonder who's gonna win?
My favorite fishing partner is back from Costa Rica! Chad was forced to come back because he consumed most of the Carribean's Rum Supply.
I missed Chad, since Orvis Boy has been working on the 7E7 24X7, I have to have someone else to torture and row my perfect ass around...
I know that the Janet Jackson thing is beyond old news and yes, I am going to talk about fishing today, but thanks to Janet Jackson or we’ll affectionately call her JJ things are getting completely out of hand and the United States Media is going psycho and has turned into a regular lynch mob about morality.
But first let’s look at JJ, let’s look at how desperate she has become to actually even dare to show nudity on CBS the most moralistic of television stations. Yes, CBS has given us TV Classics like “Murder She Wrote”, “Little House on the Prairie”, Matlock, Joan of Arcadia and “Eleventh Heaven” or “Whatever” show. You know if we really look at CBS we can just call it the “OLD PEOPLE CHANNEL”.
Yup, JJ not to be mistaken for JLo (and that’s a whole different can of worms how anyone can call her fat ass attractive has to have a screw loose. Yup, I find the “Ass of the Michelin Man” totally attractive on the female body)
Anyways, JJ decided to “SHOW BOOB” on the “OLD PEOPLE CHANNEL”. If it would have been ABC I don’t think anyone would of cared especially if it were FOX.
Yes, JJ was so desperate “How desperate was she?” she was so desperate that she “Showed Boob” and ruined it for everyone else. Now everything including the Oscars will be delayed, nothing will be live anymore and people will never again be able to be impromptu. All I can say is “THANKS BITCH.”
I don’t know why most actors, actresses, models and musicians don’t realize that they have 5 to 10 years in the spotlight depending on their talents and then they are done, old, used up and washed up. No amount of begging (Burt Reynolds), being naked (Mariah Carey. How naked can she get in a video as a back up singer for rappers?) and shocking the nation (Madonna being political with a fake eurotrash accent. Every time she tries to have a thought I think of the 80s movie “Who’s that Girl” and fall to the floor in fits of humor sometimes having to have someone shove a pencil in my mouth so I won’t bite my tongue off. ha ha ha)
So now we have to sit through show after show on CNN debating “Freedom of Speech” and how far is the FCC going to go to save our American Families from sliding inevitably down the toilet as the evil panhandlers of filth keep flushing and flushing away at us with their nudity, vulgar, and crude sexual jokes and innuendos. I know what can save the media and quiet this whole lynch mob mentality down!
LET’S BLAME A JEW!
Yes, let’s do what they have done for thousands of years now. Let’s blame a Jew! Call me racist but it’s the perfect solution and I got the perfect man.
HOWARD STERN
Oh that’s right they already figured it out.
I think Tom doesn't want to go in a drift boat with me because I give "NO QUARTER" when plugging. What does that mean?
GODDAMN IT YOU STUPID IDIOT I SAID HAVE THE PLUG ONE FOOT OFF OF THAT ROCK STICKING OUT OF THE WATER!
Tom... Miss Angie, which rock would that be?
Well, I’m gonna do something I don’t usually do but I’m going to talk about a river system I fish a lot on. Some of you know what river that is and some of you know that I like to spend a lot of time on the Sauk and Skagit, but some of you will also notice the lack of pictures that I have been putting up in January and February compare to the past couple of years since I’ve had my web site.
Since the great flood of October where the Baker and the Sauk went from an average of 5,000ccfs to 110,000ccfs a lot has changed. I don’t mean just the channels and the gravel bars I can handle all that and that is what makes a river interesting and keeps boredom at bay but we’re talking 110,000ccfs not 30 or 40,000. When I bitch and moan to fellow fishermen that haven’t seen the Sauk below the White Chuck or the Skagit below the Baker they go don’t worry about it, it can’t be that bad and I’d like to say this...
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A RIVER SO FULL OF SILT THAT THERE AREN’T ANYMORE ROCKS OR GRAVEL BARS?
HAVE YOU EVER DRIFTED A GIN CLEAR GREEN RIVER AND JUST LOOK IN HORROR AROUND YOU AT BOILING SILT?
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A RIVER THAT LOOKS LIKE THE BONE FISHING FLATS OF FLORIDA WITHOUT THE SEA GRASS AND MOTOR BOAT SCARRED MANITEES?
We’re talking miles upon miles of silt there kids and I can see the fish as their chrome bluish bodies swim around in horror looking for cover because you know what?
THERE’S NO WHERE TO RUN AND THERE’S NO WHERE TO HIDE.
So what’s going to happen?
THEY’RE GOING TO KEEP GOING TILL THEY FIND SOMEWHERE TO HIDE AND SOME WHERE TO SPAWN BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW BIG THEY ARE THEY AIN’T GOING TO BE ABLE TO DIG THROUGH THIS SHIT ERRRR SILT.
THE SAUK RIGHT NOW MAKES THE GODDAMN PUYALLUP LOOK UCKIN PRISTINE.
But the beauty of it all is that Angie has figured out how to fish it but I think the boiling silt is just putting the fish off of the bite or they’re blinded or maybe the fish are just a little later coming in this year like the coho were. Whatever I’ll soon know in a week or two.
At least it's a native and BTW we couldn't release it without taking it out of the water because the plug was embedded in it's nose.
Look on the bright side at least the ticket for taking fish out of the water is $87. Worth the risk dollarwise, don't ya think?
Well, since November of last year I was finding myself sleeping in a lot and very fatigued. For some reason since I had that damn baby my health just kept getting kind of worse. I easily got colds and just couldn’t get out of bed. If the wee monster baby slept in till 11am mommy did too and I just couldn’t figure out why.
So I took different vitamins, I went to bed earlier, I worked out more, but still kept getting bouts of fatigue. If I got sick it took me twice as long to get over it, if I played hard in the wilderness for four days it took me twice as long to get over it. Then I started to get a lump, yes, I said a lump and NO NOT IN MY BREAST, but on the side of my neck.
Being concerned when the thing got to the size of a golf ball I decided to go to the doctor and NO I’M NOT GOING TO BE LIKE JENNIE AT IFISH.NET AND WHINE AND CRY LIKE A STUPID NIMROD THAT OBVIOUSLY DOESN’THAVE ANY FAMILY SUPPORT BECAUSE THEY GOT SICK OF HER WHINING YEARS AGO...
But the doctor said I might have cancer. Yup, the bastard said the “C” word which is way worse than the other “C” word used on women any day. So I’ve had a gallon of blood drained from me, a Cat Scan or MRI, chest xrays and various other things that come out of my body tested.
The Suspense is killing everyone isn’t it? 75% of you are going...
“She’s too young and beautiful to die! We love you!”
the other 25% are going...
“Die bitch Die.” Hmmmmmmmmm---- could that be heard chanting at a particular rental house on the Sol Duc over there on yonder Olympic Peninsula? Hey, I still heard that someone still hasn’t gotten a ring but she is now referred to as “the little wifey”. That sure doesn’t work in divorce court there sister.
I AM PERFECTLY HEALTHY
My blood is beautiful, my sinuses are as clear as the Sol Duc Waters on a fine cold January day, my insides are perfect and glossy scientific specimens and my lungs in x-ray are so white and spotless that I could be used in one of them “Why you shouldn’t smoke ads” as pro anti-smoking.
But there is a problem and I’m not going into it. I do have an infection and I wish and pray that it would be sexually transmitted (WHAT?) because anything is better than where my infection is at and how they are going to test for it. I’d rather have them laser off genital warts than what they are going to do to me. Most of you know where I’m going with this over the age of 35 don’t you?
All I can say is
COLONOSTOPHY
The bright side to all this is that my doctor looks like Richard Gere so as we talk about the color of my (God I can’t even say it) he’s getting all excited. As he tells me what they are going to do to me I can see the twinkle in his eye about how he says we can watch it together on the monitor. I’m thinking this guy is way too good looking to be a gastronomist and why is he getting so goddamn excited about traveling through my intestines?
I know he got into this because he’s one of them “pooh men” yes, I said pooh men. Why else on earth would such a good looking guy get into this line of medicine? I also think I found the dude that put this particular ad in the Seattle Stranger every week for the past six years.
“Wanted a mommy to change my diapers. Call 360-“
Yup, I finally found the guy.
Now if you men want to know what I am going through, imagine talking about this sort of thing with Kate Hudson if you’re under 35 or her mother if you’re over 35.
Oh, and what’s it like to have someone tell you, you have cancer at age 35 when you’re as active as I am?
I think I took it really well, I kind of told a few people but not so that they would feel sorry for me (like Jennie at Ifish.net pathetic whiny loser). But to let them know that hey, even if you’re as young, physically fit, and as active and lovely as I am it can happen.
Oh and what was I going to do with my last days on earth?
What the hell do you think? I was going to go Marlin fishing and then tarpon fishing before I went into chemo. I would also plug and bait fish every closed river in the Puget Sound Area. Think about how I’d slay them on the Sky and the Sauk during the month of May. Hee Hee
Then if I was going to really die I was going to go out the following way...
Go hunt grizzlies with a hand gun. Now that’s fun. I heard getting your skull crushed by the jaws of one is pretty quick and painless. Kind of a cool way to go.
Cliff Diving in Aculpalco while drinking Patron. I’ll swallow the worm and jumppppppppppppppppppppppp!
Strapping explosives to my body and taking a tour of the Bonneville Dam or the Snake River Dam. Hmmmmmm-- that would take the lives of innocent people. People versus Fish. Wouldn’t it be great if the fish won this one?
Genocide on all sealions to keep the balance of predators equal with their prey, and then let the Coast Guard shoot me to make a point about protecting animals to the point of upsetting the balance of nature.
I can go on and on. See you can think about a lot of fun stuff when thoughts of death go through your mind. Of course I thought about what my kids and stuff we’d do like going to Disney Land and taking them to a tropical destination but that sounds too sweet and mushy for me.
Hey, I haven’t once asked for any of you all too feel sorry for me have I? Will you feel sorry for me and pray for me? Come on! GAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG if you want to feel sorry for someone go here... ifish.net but it isn’t time for
I get at least three marriage proposals a month so I can't keep track. Well, I gave him shit about the color of his fish and he responded with...
WHERE WE LIVE THIS IS AS BRIGHT AS THEY GET BUT YOU DON'T GET FISH LIKE THESE.
I want to fish Michigan! Adam is "Danger Boy!"
Do they have steel shin waders, ya think?
NOW BACK TO FISHING
Well, remember how I was talking about becoming your leader as sports fishermen, well I kind of did and would love to have your input. See I got recruited by a couple of WDFW Members and then had some buddies get me on the...
SPORTSFISHING ADVISORY BOARD
And it’s a good thing too. I think I’m the only one on there that doesn’t have a commercial interested or a self serving agenda. Well, I am going to try to do a few personal things with my own waters but I’m going to try to be as fair as possible to
The fish when it comes to protecting them
And to the fishermen when it comes to the harvest of them.
I’ve only gone to one meeting and was kind of aghast about how the true sportsman has absolutely no representation whatsoever. Sure we have “Trout Unlimited” we know how they are. The Westport Charter guys were there, the Ilawaco Charter Guy was there (I really liked this guy) and the Forks City Guy was there (he was really concerned) and various other members.
Who I really thought was a hoot was the Pogie Club Representative. If you don’t know who they are they are a Fishing Club based out of Seattle and they have opened up their own clandestine late night secret squirrel hatchery on Gorky Creek. I always wondered about them guys fishing them mudflats in August when I use to drive thru there and now I know.
It seems that they release some smolts from Gorky Creek and some are predicted to return. I’m sure a lot of them will return but will be caught in the Sound. They are trying to increase the limit of kings kept in their area. I’d like to say this...
GOOOOOOOO POGIES!
There was another man I met that kind of represented the Mt. Vernon area or Northern Puget Sound/ San Juan Areas. His name was Larry Carpenter. I talked to him about getting the Northern Puget Sound Rivers like the Skagit and Nooksack open for kings again. He was totally against this idea claiming that the Native Americans would completely wipe them out again. I believe that it’s only been closed for three years and the fish are returning like crazy. If they were wiped out back then, then why are they returning like crazy?
So I figure “Wow, this guy cares.” Then I talk to some people and find out that if the salt water fishing for kings in the San Juans is great then his fiberglass boat sales will skyrocket. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Then of course I brought up the
“Stupid ass rule of not taking the fish out of the water.”
And pointed out how dangerous it was for drift boats and jet sleds and what the hell are the very old and handicapped people going to do?
The WDFW response was...
We didn’t think about the handicapped or about boats on the river.
My favorite was when the Ilwaco guy and I would say his name but can’t find my sheet said...
“He couldn’t wait for someone to fall overboard and drown in the rough seas.”
I second that motion because just yesterday we had a nine pound native hooked in the nose with a plug and we couldn’t beach because we were in a canyon type place with huge rocks and the water was swift. It was bad enough that I had to drop anchor in Easter Island Size Boulders. We all know what happens when we anchor in places like that (lose anchor or sink boat).
No matter what we had to take the fish out of the water to get the plug out and keeping the plug in the nose of the fish was not an option. I’m not losing a three dollar favorite plug, if I lost a plug every time I hooked him hard it would cost me hundreds of dollars by the end of the season and I’m not going to let a native swim with it in it’s nose because even BARBLESS SINGLE SIWASH that thing wasn’t coming out. Hanging over the side doing plug surgery is not a good idea with the boat going back and forth in the current.
So should we ban plugs?
I THINK WE ALL KNOW MY RESPONSE TO THAT ONE.
I mean really where the hell is anyone going to land a fish in a canyon? Someone please tell me? Where is anyone going to land on the Columbia? Someone please tell me. But I could go on and on.
So I’m not too impressed with our Sports Advisory Board and plan on being a pain in the ass to them. They totally focus on salt water and the Columbia. When it comes to river fishing they have no clue, no data and no commercial interest. So I guess that’s why I am there.
NOW IT’S TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE STATE WIDE BAN OF BONKING NATIVE STEELHEAD
Actually, I could care less about it. I think it is a great idea because native winter/spring steelhead taste like shit anyways but I’m going against the ruling and will try with all my might to get it quashed. That reminds me I need to contact that Forks Sports Advisory Representative Dan Leinan about it.
Before I go into why I think it needs to get quashed and why it is a bad idea I want to bring up two points.
First point is since this is such an issue on the Olympic Peninsula let’s do what they do here in the Puget Sound area. Close the rivers in May (yes, I know the Bogie and Calawah are but not the Hoh or the Sol duc) instead of leaving them open all year long. Ohhhhhh that was so hard to do. Actually, I have an even better idea and would like to get this passed that will do more good for the fish.
HAVE A CLOSURE DATE OF APRIL 15TH ON ALL THE RIVERS FOR STEELHEAD
Man, I’m such a bitch. That should piss people especially them C&R Freaks that like to molest them on their spawning beds, yup that sure is okay, off but really think about it. I think the native steelhead need more than a month to spawn and that shows you I’m willing to give up two of my favorite weeks to help our fish.
You don’t see anyone else doing that do you?
HAVE A CLOSURE DATE OF APRIL 15TH ON ALL THE RIVERS FOR STEELHEAD
Sorry you Catch and Release freaks. You can’t molest wild fish on their spawning beds anymore and kill them by exhausting them too death. Ha ha ha ha ha
Second point let us look at logging. Because of extreme environmentalists the single property owner cannot cut his own trees but logging companies can destroy everything in their path.
Because of extreme environmentalists the single fisherman cannot harvest his one to two fish but commercial nets and native nets can destroy everything in their path.
Is anyone getting my point and I don’t think I’m being selfish.
Once you take away the right to kill native steelhead then it will just keep getting worse from there.
LIKE NOW WE CAN”T TAKE THE FUCKERS OUT OF THE WATER.
Soon we won’t be able to kill wild salmon and when a river gets more than 40,000 native coho and I have to catch and release all of them I’m going to be mighty upset about that one.
I mean really you GODDAMN STUPID EXTREMISTS REALLY THINK ABOUT IT. Once you get them to start taking your rights away the government will keep doing it. Soon we won’t be able to fish from a boat (that’s right in some places we can’t). Soon we won’t be able to fish with plugs because we can’t take the fish out of the water to remove the plugs. Soon we won’t be able to fish out of a boat in salt water because again we have to take the fish out of the water to remove the hooks especially on boats with high sides.
I THINK YOU’RE ALL GETTING MY POINT.
Other proposals I’m going to make are...
Closing the mouth of Deer Creek a mile in either direction (leave them fish alone)
Changing the North Fork of the Stilly to selective gear all around; Fly Fishing only water is discriminatory.
Now it’s time for...
Why is my butt sticking out like that? Because Orvis Boy was so drunk he couldn't stand up to take the picture...
First victim of the day is my favorite fly fisherman and the NW Woman’s Fly Fishing Association’s...
Dennis Dickson
Yup, Dennis Dickson gets the “Stupidest Quote of the Day Award” and that is that a steelhead beats out a bonefish for fight.
Don’t you just feel sorry for him and yes, my brethren in Florida you can quit laughing now.
Sorry Dennis but if you can only catch 16 inch bone fish (and who the hell was your guide you sure got ripped off and hey, now maybe you know how it feels) you can’t even compare a 1 year old bone fish with a five year old.
Please note in pictures the size difference.
I also ran into the NW Women’s Fly Fishing Association. They sure didn’t like Dennis very much. I volunteered my services to help them out because I was appalled when I saw them lined up like idiots on the worse stretch of river the Stillagamush had to offer.
They said they weren’t impressed on that trip either (nice to see that women that fly fish are smarter than their men) and that Dennis was nothing but condescending. Hmmmmm-Dennis isn’t male chauvinistic is he, could account for the lack of women clients, ya think?
I don’t think they were much interested in my helping them out though since like most fly fishermen they think that to be a good guide you have to be FFA Certified. Sure I can cast really well but hey fishing is all about casting right? Not reading the water, not knowing the habits and nature of the river and the fish you are fishing for. Nope, it’s all about casting.
I know that’s my problem and probably why I catch so many fish. ?
Another interesting thing I saw at the Sportsman Show were the Willie Boats. I about died laughing when the salesman asked me what I thought of the red and white flamed Willie Boat. They didn’t like it when I responded with...
“It sure is pretty but I wouldn’t want to fish out of it.” Only one salesman understood what I was talking about. He must be the one that fishes. The others got pissed. Well, he loves my web site so what do you think and if you want to buy a Willie Drift Boat go say “Hi” go Mike Packerson. He knows his boats.
It seems lately that people think that boats that are painted really cool and in white or bright colors or metallic is a good idea. Can we really think about this? Imagine being a steelhead and you see a pink plug coming at you. You’re swimming towards the plug to get it out of your territory when suddenly you see this huge red, white or aluminum atrocity that is on fire, wayyyyyy bigger than you coming at you also. You forget about the plug and run and hide from the flaming monstrosity.
Don’t believe me? A Guide I know named Rick, who guides primarily on the Sol Duc known for its Tangueray Clean waters paints his Willie Boat a muted gray and black composite color. It looks like a Stealth Fighter Plane and he says it makes a difference.
I’m gonna believe him. I know we can run a test! We’ll have Jennie of Ifish.net who likes to float with a snorkel down the river like the ugliest Macy Day Parade Balloon, lay on the bottom of the Kilchis river and we’ll row over her. That is if it’s deep enough to get by.
Speaking of Jennie at ifish.net I visited her site the other day and noticed a bunch of sponsors were off her front page but the most pathetic thing I noticed was again the wonderful “Day in the Life of Jennie” where she talks about her kids, driving to her sister’s house and the pictures of the little birdies.
ONE WORD CAN DESCRIBE HER
Okay two
Goddamn boring. She’s boring, her site is boring, her kids are weird, it’s the same old birdie pictures the only thing she had exciting on there was her fishing with a cat on her arm. Yeah know, not only does her hypocritical religious attitude drive me bonkers but her being completely boring and writing about it makes me WACKED.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JENNIE
When we got to my sisters she cut my hair and dyed it carrot orange again. My sister still can’t get the auburn color I once had and since this is the 30th dye job this month the hair is so stripped it refuses to take color so I guess I’m screwed. I think I’ll just blame the ugly hair color on my disease. It worked for my bad witch like teeth. So why not?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I'm all excited about Springer Fishing this year. Jeff loves my web site and says I should fish with Jennie of ifish.net.
Why is he requesting that?
So he can watch the carnage. He says if he reads one more Jennie Day he's going to gouge out his eyes or did he say he was going to stick chopsticks through his brain? I can't remember.
I love Jeff...
Pissy Hissy Pursuits is at least a little bit more exciting but not by much. On my last visit I noted that Dave Vedder must have finally bought a computer or was able to afford one and got internet access. Why would I say that?
Because I never saw him on the internet before....
But why am I mentioning Dave Vedder? Well, I always thought his articles were kind of okay in the magazines but not very knowledgeable and then after this statement;
The Canadians practice Catch and Release and look how well Spencer’s Bridge is doing and their Thompson Steelhead...
WHAT?
Why don’t we tell them three abandoned hotel owners that? I’m sure we can find them dumpster digging somewhere in Vancouver. Hey, did they tear down the Steelhead Hotel yet? And did the Pub owners Lori and John lower the price of the Log Cabin Pub to $100.00 Canadian so that they can make their escape to the Carribean yet?
I think the only thing running in that river are the methanphedamimes (how do you spell that damn word?) chemicals accidentally spilled by all them meth labs resurrected along the Thompson’s banks.
You know I always thought magazine article writers were all on the stupid side but the more Dave Vedder posts the more I burn my Salmon Trout Steelhead magazines with each stupid quote.
Dave, CNR has nothing to do with the Thompson, quit using that River as your poster child for how uckin great CNR is.
THEY ARE CLOSING THE THOMPSON IN 2004 AND 2005. THEY JUST ABOOT CLOSE IT EVERY YEAR. THEY HAVE NETTED THE SHIT OUT OF THE RUN. ITS ABOOT NETS NOT CNR.
Did I digress?
Speaking of new magazines we got a Salmon Steelhead Journal now. My take on it? Well the small steelhead on the front cover is photographed in a net so must I go on? Also every fish in the magazine held by each proud author is on the small side except for Bob Ball’s Pink Worm Article (does the guy fish with anything else ever?)
Speaking of Bob Ball did he ever put that gay ass “Pink Worm Dude” sticker on the side of his boat. You know “That’s says it all folks.” Ha ha ha ha You know what? I think Bob doesn’t get the reference because you know it’s not like he’s smart or anything so let’s explain it to him and how most people’s filthy little minds work...
The Pink Worm is what we (and everyone else I knew) called our male dog’s gentalia (Isn’t that nice? Angie didn’t use the word PENIS) Remember the Pink Worm moving in and out of its sheath?
Yup, Bob has that same old picture of that same old big Kispiox steelhead and I think we’ve all seen it a hundred times. Last time I saw it though he said he caught that thing with a fly. Man, I sure wish the dude would make up his mind.
So this new magazine is taking after Fishing and Hunting News with glossy maps of exactly where to fish on the river with descriptions. We all know how Miss Angie hates that kind of thing. Actually, have I read the magazine at all? Nope after I saw the maps, tell all articles about destinations and looked at the lame pictures I chucked it across the room. Just another rag bringing in more itjuts that get in my goddamn way. Curse it.
Oh, and the stupidest thread ever was the one about extending the coho season for selective fishing versus having a shorter season and killing both native and hatchery fish. Most of the dillrods and it’s a whole new batch this year, thought that wading through and accidentally killing all them native fish to get to the hatchery fish with downriggers and double hooked mooching rigs was the better idea. Someone kill me now!
Pissy Hissy Pursuits in itself is the most exciting board on the internet because you don’t know what frickin fishless idiot is going to say next. Entertainment for hours.
This 12 year old kid (actually I think he's over 21 but he doesn't look like it) got that "Can't take the fish out of the water proposal" passed.
Are you going to let such a geek or should we call him "faggy looking" nice hat BTW do this to all of us real fishermen?
Hey, did he catch that fish at a fish hatchery? NO WAY!
BTW he's Bob Ball's best friend. I'll let you take the innuendo from there. Hee Hee
They’re Canadian Fish they can take it.
Hey loved that thread about Cowy and Booby when they were in Aruba. Still can’t figure out why we didn’t see all of Cowy in a bathing suit. Great photography Boob! And what was up with Booby sitting around that orange picnic table with all them hot exotic casino dancers eating lunch?
Don’t you love when Boob shares his vacations with us all? It’s not like no one else has ever been to the tropics. That’s right no one on his board has because they’re all so damn stupid that they can barely afford a computer let alone a trip to the tropics. They can live vicariously Boob.
Now that’s pathetic, he didn’t even drink rum when he was down there. I bet the natives were laughing at him. Nothing like a tropical vacation without the rum. You can’t even call it tropical.
I’m outta here folks. Will return with some great pictures during the month, I don’t know if I’ll have time to write. I going on lots of trips. I’m doing a sojourn for Springers in the Columbia at the end of March, taking off to the Peninsula for a few days OH OH, and spending four days in the south end of Washington. No end to my fishing the next few weeks. God I love March!
HAPPY SAINT PATRICK’S DAY!
SO IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT MY PEOPLE... READ BELOW AND DO WHAT IT TELLS YOU...
DON'T BELIEVE ME? WE CAN'T EVEN TAKE WILD FISH OUT OF THE WATER NOW...
WHAT THE FUCK IS NEXT? THAT'S THE ONLY THING LEFT PEOPLE! THAT AND MAKING WASHINGTON STATE COMPLETELY FLY FISHING ONLY...
Attention steelheaders and their friends
The Washington State Fish and Wildlife Commission recently passed a two-year statewide ban on the retention of wild steelhead by sport fishers. This means that starting April 1, 2004 and continuing for at least two years (likely forever if their ruling sticks) only hatchery steelhead caught in Forks rivers and elsewhere can be kept. Wild fish, those that were not marked by clipping off their adipose fin, will have to be released. If you do not like this ruling contact the Commission. Polite, intelligent letters giving the Commission good information as well as your opinions may be the best way to turn them around. They are meeting again in Olympia on March 12 and 13 and some time will be available then for public comment if you can attend. Call Susan Yaeger, executive secretary of the Commission to find out the exact time schedule and format for public testimony 360-902-2267. She is very helpful. These meetings will take place on the first floor of the Natural Resources Building, room 172. This building is at 1111 Washington Street SE. If you can write the Commission their e-mail address is commission@dfw.wa.gov, their fax number is 360-902-2448, and their mailing address is 600 Capitol Way N, Olympia 98501.
The Commission voted 5 to 3 in favor of wild fish non-retention, so you have to change the mind of only one of those voting in favor in order to derail this train. So give it to them. Here are some points for your letter or in-person testimony, but using your own words and experiences probably makes a greater impact than if a bunch of us sent the same letter.
1. The Forks area rivers support the best wild steelhead fishing in North America. Neither non-tribal nor tribal fishing has hurt the productivity of these runs.
2. Sport fishing for steelhead generates substantial income to many Forks residents-guides, motels, restaurants, gas stations, tackle, bait sales, etc.
3. Wild steelhead spawning escapements have been adequate to excellent for as long as the record has been kept.
4. The stream habitats are relatively productive because much of the spawning/fry rearing waters are in the Olympic National Park.
5. The upper reaches of all rivers, generally above highway 101, are already closed to catch-and-kill fishing for wild steelhead. This provides much spawner protection and gives the catch-and-release folks many miles of lightly fish waters.
6. Most fishing now occurs in the lower, catch-and-kill sections indicating that most fisherman like the opportunity to take a nice fish home now and again, even though many fish are voluntarily released.
7. You can only keep five wild steelhead a year anyway, which is very restrictive compared to the past, and has given these stocks adequate protection.
8. Forks area timber sales generate much of the revenues for state public schools. The rest of the State should listen to the wishes of Forks residents before passing down locally unpopular decrees.
9. Judge Boldt also said that the non-tribal fishermen had the right to 50% of the harvest, as well as the tribal 50% right. The best way to insure the non-tribal 50% is to catch it, and measure that catch accurately.
10. The opportunity to catch a trophy (20 pounder or bigger) steelhead brings many fishermen to Forks. Hatchery stocks and most other state rivers do not produce such wall-hangers.
11. The rivers are often out of shape for long periods, which helps the spawning escapements.
12. Catch and release need not be a law. It should be a choice as at present.
13. Catch and release is not needed for conservation. It will only allocate away from the current class of fishermen who may want to keep some of their fish, to another class of fishermen who do not. Neither group has it necessarily wrong, and the present system of extensive catch and release sections plus the five fish annual limit is a good and working compromise.
14. An unpopular and unnecessary law may be hard to enforce.
15. Already guide trips for April, 2004 are being canceled because of this pending change in fishing regulations.
16. The state biologists in charge of managing the Forks area streams think that this new regulation is not necessary.
And not because of the above picture...
What was the quote my favvvvoriteeeee client sent me? I want to meet their sisters?
Yup, that picture speaks a thousand words and if any man of similar build out there wants to send me more “Full Monty Fish Porn” I’ll post it and show my ever loving gratitude by singing your praises. So if you’re hot, blonde, cut and ripped please email me a naked picture of yourself with a chrome bright steelhead hiding your privates to the following email address;
Angie@thefishingoddess.com
I know we’ll have a “Naked Men Fishing Page” winner gets a free trip just like the darkest fish contest.
Did I just come up with a new calendar idea? I’d buy one in a heart beat. As long as the men holding the fish are models. It’s not like I want to see any of the guides I’ve seen out there naked, except for...
John Koenig
Jim Richardson
Jim Mansfield
Guy Ruble
Alan Skagit Guide Something
Guides I WOULD NOT want to see naked...
Dennis Dickson the man that put spaghetti into arms
Bob Ball the man that put the dough into roll
And all them other bearded fatties out there ewwwwwwwwwwwwww....
Now if a naked woman were to pose with a fish... Okay, that is just too gross and I’m going to end the thought right here and now. STOP
Now that the raunchy part of the rant is done.
Let’s start the ranting!
I have a few things I’d like to complain about and most of all I’m going to complain about all this damn rain we’ve been having. You can call them “Winter Storms”, you can call them “Squalls” but I’m going to call them the “Only thing keeping me home right now.”
I guess I could go skiing but I’m too embarrass to hit the slopes in my outdated gear and skiis. I’ll look like them old people I use to make fun of wearing red, white, black or blue back in the 80s and early 90s. I was so cool back then in my neon pink and green snow bunny outfits of old. You could see me gracefully and expertly traversing moguls from hundreds of miles away I even think the Satellites could pick me out. Come on folks! Who has a neon colored ski parka in the back of their closet? Let’s see a show of hands.
Yup, I should be skiing butttttttt with all this work crap going on I’m having a hard time adjusting. I work late at night, sleep in, get awaken by a toddler thrashing my head with an empty baby bottle and by the time I get going its 1pm in the afternoon. Now are all of you understanding why I haven’t been ranting much?
I’m ever so sorry but working at night has made me miss out on my favorite time to write and that’s first thing in the morning. That’s when I come up with my best stuff, later on in the evening I’m just a vegetable especially after a three hour work out.
RYAN PETZOLD ALIAS SPARKEY ALIAS LOSER
If you see this boy on the river bank feel free to give him a hearty "THANK YOU" for not being able to take your steelhead out of the water for that trophy picture.
Stay tuned for sightings of the other two losers that proposed the ruling for next year (2004-2005)...
Hey, isn't this fish being held out of the water?
But since the above picture reminds me of the proposal process. Here's some other proposals I'd like to discuss today... because I think that my brethren who...
“go fishing, catch a lot and actually know what is going on because we live it, breathe it and love it.”
or for all of yous out there...
THE REAL FISHERMEN
we can make a difference especially with me as your leader... I mean if that dork in the above picture can get such a stupid proposal passed...
The beauty of it all is that I’m not some psycho activist that believes in total catch and release (if the fish are so uckin endangered close the damn river) and believe that you do have the right to eat your fish or THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE! That we should come up with our own proposals and make our own stand!
I believe that I am an expert witness on most of the streams in the Northwest since I have fish them all on a regular basis but I do have some weakness in the Marine Areas. So if you have any suggestions (I know I know open up Area 7) feel free to email me your suggestion with substantial data to & argument about why this or that regulation should be changed, the time the fishery is open should be or should not be extended blah blah blah
For example;
We seem to be having a problem at Buoy 10 and at Seiku where we have to catch and release native coho salmon. In the process of releasing such native coho many are killed by charters and guides because they do not release them promptly (let them die on the decks) or leave double hook set ups in their mouths. My solution?
Close the fishery if they are so ucking endangered
A more practical solution that will make everyone happy...
Allow a limit of one native coho. The minute a coho is touched it goes on someone’s punch card they are done fishing. Since so many native coho are killed by being hooked the mortality rates will be the same, the fishermen will be happy (you mostly catch natives while salt fishing anyways) and you get the same statistics or we can do something ever so evil to guides and charters...
Have their clients fish with barbless jigs. OH THE HORROR! OH THE COST!
Like I said... These are great proposals brought up by a perfect proposer.. Don’t ya think?
(Hey, isn’t that just like that law that any salmon that is put into the boat has to be intended for kill? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm)
Oh and one more rant before we talk about something close and dear to my heart...
Angie can you please interpret this?
OKAY THE MUCKLESHOOTS WANT THE WHITE MAN TO PAY FOR THEIR HATCHERY SO THEY CAN NET THE SHIT OUT OF IT AND WE GET TO FISH IT FOR THREE WHOLE DAYS AND PAY FOR IT ALL!
Yup, folks and the WDFW stance on it? Close it. It costs 1.5 Million to do the three day fishery count anyways.
My stance?
How the hell does it cost 1.5 million to count the fish (I’ve never had my fish counted but I use an unknown boat launch)?
How the hell does it cost 1.5 million to count the boats by plane?
Here’s a clue, pay me 10% of what you pay a government contractor to fly over Lake Washington and I’ll save you a bundle. I’ll hire Kenmore Float Planes for $200 an hour and fly over everyone and count with my little itty bitty finger, a bic pen and a yellow note pad worth $3.00.
I say close it and would like to ask the question. Since the Cedar isn’t part of the Green River Duwamish system anymore then why do the Muckleshoots have jurisdiction?
Speaking of natives...
DON’T YOU LOVE THAT BLACK AND WHITE COMMERCIAL ABOUT THEM BEING THE HARBINGERS OF NATURE?
When are they the harbingers of nature? When they have a day off from running their beloved casinos? Wouldn’t it be
Harbingers of the gambling addicted white man? Actually, them white men deserve to lose all their monies. Anyone that would gamble at a native casino where the slots are tighter than an unborn virgin in an ovary, should lose all their monies.
Here’s a clue... TAKE THE MONEY YOU’D LOSE AND FLY TO VEGAS
A good time will be had by everyone.
So here is my fishing tips for February. Some of you think it’s too cold to fish in February. That’s great because...
It’s big fish month so hide in your little hovels till April you idiots.
Bait and big plugs just ROCK... You can figure the rest out.
The article called “Kill Bill” had a special meaning to me and I know to others like me.
The article was about a gentleman that went to the Kispiox and noticed a sign placed on a huge saw in the town of Kispiox that said “FOR BILL HERZOG'S TRUCK”. The curious gentleman asked the locals about it and they told him the following;
Ever since Bill Herzog promoted the Kispiox in STS magazine it’s turned into a combat zone a complete and utter zoo.
Now Now my brethren in lovely BC you just can’t blame Bill Herzog for such an indiscretion. It’s not his fault that in his quest for book sales and boosting his own ego that he pimped out one of the best rivers known for monster summer runs. He didn’t mean to ruin the getaway of a few that dared drive the 20 hours from Washington to fish for pigs in solitude. He didn’t mean to do it.
He didn’t mean to do it and either did the following;
EVERY FLY FISHING MAGAZINE (ESPECIALLY GERMAN) IN EUROPE DID IT AND OUR FAVORITE MAN OF THE HOUR
BOB BALL
It kills me that every time guys like Bob Ball, some big mouth fly fishing freak or Bill Herzog writes about a sacred fishing place that most ignoramous would never dream of ever going to will start to go because if they can do it.... The real poignant part about all this is...
When they can’t fathom why on earth the next year that they go that there are hundreds of others fishing. They can’t fathom it at all.
Isn’t that sad?
Isn’t that pathetic?
And the best part is... They get no money for it just fame. What kind of fame? The worse kind.
Love the gut you should of had them air brush that out.
You’ll see where I’m going with this and I title this excerpt...
“I’M IN A NEW YORK STATE OF MIND”
Don’t you hate people from NYC? Don’t they just get on your fucking nerves? Did you all know that the whole world, the whole universe the whole everything revolves their fair and dirty city and it is...
ALL ABOUT THEM (don’t believe me watch Sex in the City)
Food was invented in New York, Fashion was invented in New York (because it certainly wasn’t hair styles. Good god will they ever get out of the 90s?) and with out them civilization as we know it would cease to exist.
I get so sick of the way they think that what they do, what they say and what happens there affects the rest of the planet. Here’s a thought... If your gross disgusting skyscrapers fell into a sink hole or if Godzilla really did destroy you
NOT ONE PERSON WOULD NOTICE AND WE WOULD BE RELIEVED!
(can you tell I hate know it alls?)
So I get this email from some weird fat chick you can tell she’s fat because she knows everything...
I thought the gal was kind of sweet but something was kind of weird. She toted herself as a famous fly fishing article writer (only mentions a NYC Fly Fishing Rag which rates up there with our Fishing and Hunting News though she doesn’t know that that’s a bad thing... ha ha ha). She writes all about guides and destinations. I began to feel sorry for her having to fish in New York City till I thought about it. Here we have some gal that has only caught one Striper Bass and stated things like...
“I believe that New York will one day become a World Class Fishery” (I know I died laughing too.)
“I eat fish from New York Harbor. (I know this must explain it)
“Catherine Hooker is a model. (I thought models were attractive that’s right anyone compare to Becky)
“I can’t double haul. (WHAT?)
So here we have some wannabe giving fly fishermen all around New York giving advice about guides (she interviews them what questions she must ask, I’m afraid that even I don’t want to know.) and destinations. Hey, didn’t I just talk about “Fishing Whores”?
Why would this make me pissed? Because my fly fishing brethren, you are being led by so many goddamn idiots that it is no wonder you don’t catch anything and make complete asses out of yourself half the time. You have complete and utter morons from New York that can’t even double haul, think New York can be a world class fishery (I know for toxic carps) and know absolutely nothing about rivers, lakes or streams because folks...
THEY’VE NEVER BEEN TO THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN’T EVEN AFFORD OR ARE TOO AFRAID TO LEAVE THE GODDAMN CITY.
I’m dead ucking serious people... Next time you read “COPY” about some resort or some guide really think about it. You could have had Miss Becky from Manhattan (more likely the Bronx) writing the article and she can’t even double haul. Well, doesn’t the picture tell it all? It took her 12 hours to catch one little striper bass
Enjoy the excerpts from our emails...
Where can I find your rant on Catherine Hooper? I could use a good laugh.
I walked in one day to Urban Angler about a year ago and this chick (later learned name was Catherine Hooper) treated me like I was dirt but fawned over the dudes that walked in. Now, prior to Ms. Hooper's arrival, I had used Urban Angler as a source for several articles and invited them to join me in a segment of NYC flyfishing and I probably plucked down at least a grand there buying stuff. (So to blow me off ws not only providing bad customer service but alienating yourself from some free press coverage.)
So, I made a note to find out if this chick was legit or not. In skimming the web, I found almost no info. here sans the Fish & Fly spread. Given the placement of the rods and bonefish and the lack of clothing, I couldn't tell if I was reading a fishing mag or porn. (I have since found out that these pics were taken in the Bahamas, BTW.)
As an avid flyfisher and writer (one of the topics I cover is flyfishing with a focus on NYC/Long Island), I have campaigned to get chicks in bikinis off the cover of fishing magazines - not that I want to see Ted Williams in a Speedo (thanks though for the pic of the dude on the website) but as you know to put the dude in the proper gear and then the woman in a silver string bikini sends the wrong message. In fact, I blasted Conde Nast Sports for Women for running their lovely fishing article "The Happy Hooker" (the rag has since closed thank goodness). That's not to say we're slobs - I carry lipstick in my fishing vest and try to look my best esp. if I'm being photographed and I can tell you're the same way.
Great site BTW.
Becky
Actually I liked the pictures of Cathy Hooker. Only thing wrong with them were the bad captions and she had a big butt. I hate women posing in bathing suits with big butts. I think Becky was really jealous.
Actually I am developing a niche re: writing about urban adventures - my improv teacher and publishing contacts are here, so for now, I feel called to stay. There's a lot that can be done to develop NYC into a world class fishery - for starters keeping the Baymen from coming back - two seasons of commercial fishing here and we can kiss recreational fishing goodbye. (Yes, I eat fish but NY Harbor can't take any more commercial traffic). I also sail in the Harbor with the Schooner Pionner a 102-ft 1885 year old historic schooner as a crew member - so I see how much fun (and money) is made by keeping these waters available for recreational use.
The future, who knows?
Becky
She’s not serious is she? Would an Urban Fly fishing adventure consist of traversing the bad neighborhoods along the Hudson River and keeping the gangsters away from your sage rod? Or is it being able to endure the taunts of the ghetto children as they laugh at your outfit?
This week I just sold another NYC fishing article to In Fisherman and Shallow Water Angler (working out the details) and got some major nibbles re: a book proposal about fishing in NYC (even if this doesn't materialize, it's cool news) don't need Urban Angler to do this piece but I am selective regarding where I voice my concerns about Cathy - the last thing I need is for rumors of a cat fight to surface. Blah.
I didn't go to the 2002 Fly-fishing Show (went to the 2003 one - tend to go to these about every other year), so I missed the signing party. As a writer what annoys me is when anyone sets themselves up as an expert when they're full of crap. I don't view myself as a fly-fishing expert, which is why I have a long list of fishing guides that I interview - I know enough about fly-fishing to know when I'm being handed junk. I rank my skills as advanced intermediate because I have yet to master the double haul - also as I don't own a boat here in NYC, I am reliant on guides for any fly-fishing to areas not accessible by the shore.
I'm enclosing a pic of me with my first stiper - caught off the coast of Nantucket, MA at 5:30 in the morning in May 1999. If it had been a few hours later, I would have taken off the sunglasses and put on lipstick but we had been fishing since 4am and I was exhausted but exhilerated.
Becky
I guess there’s a lot of material for an actual book about fishing in NYC. I’m completely and utterly speechless. I just love how she is so stupid that she relies on so many other expert guides for information. I know she’s writing a book of “quotes” from NYC’s top guides!
Nah - the words prostitute and Tom Pero (assuming this is the Fish & Fly editor kind of says it all ... I was appalled that he ran this article esp. when I found out the photos were not taken in the Seychelles but the Bahamas.
Looks like she's kind of prostituing herself agin at Urban Angler. It appears that she locked into this sweet albeit a bit nebbish Jewish guy that was an easy prey and got him by the balls literally. After Jon Fisher (yes, that's the name) took over the store from his dad and the next thing you know I get an invite from her (at that time I was a women's fishing group) to attend the opening of the new location of "her" store. He's a sweet albeit a bit nebbish Jewish guy that you could tell wasn't very successful with girls, so it's to lead him around and even get him to take porno pics of you. (As I noted, I have worked with Jon on several articles and he's always managed to provide information that was accurate and pictures that told the story without being porn.)
I didn't go to the NJ FlyFishing Show this year but when I went last year, the scuttlebut is that Jon is p-whipped and that the store is suffering from it - they moved the focus from local travel to high end exotic trips, when most people want to fish the NYC waters or maybe a local day or weekend trip. And while some guys relish the attention (there were lines at the 2002 show to have her sign their Fish & Fly cover) most guys will tell you they want to keep their porn and fishing separate.
Fortunately, the Orvis store is under new management and Paragon Sports expanded their flyfishing department - so we have places we can go here in the city when we need something now and it's too late to place an online order And it looks like she hasn't done any articles and her agent dumped her since this piece so the word gets around. None of the guides want to dish her in a public forum as many of them got some free PR on her website. My policy as a writer is if I think you suck as a fly-shop or a guide, I simply don't quote you in my article (though I do have to include the listing in the resource sidebar or my editor will have my ass in case they call.)
Keep me posted re: any future projects - I don't cover the Northwest but I'm always interested. Assume you're saving stuff even after you pull it off the web - there is definitely a book here. Becky
Man, if she hates Catherine that much she must really hate me especially after the emails I sent her.
Now I know you’re all thinking, these aren’t that bad. She’s just another wannabe one fish wonder dumbass that doesn’t know squat and I felt sorry for her too, but then something clicked inside my head. Something that made me so pissed off that I just lost it. She was what I hated most in this world. She was one of them one fish forum wonders that I constantly made fun of and told them to “shut the fuck up.” So why was I being nice to her? Because she was a pathetic woman? So I let her have it Angie style and held nothing back in the bitchy department.
You won't be able to develop a niche. No one wants to read about urban adventures. It sounds absolutely horrid. Just being honest.
"I walk down to the end of the pier. The Hudson was running clear today it was just chocolate brown instead of shit brown and had less hypodermic needles and floating tampons than usual. I casted 15 feet because I can't double haul and WHOA and behold I caught a 20 pound carp on a white garbage fly."
And that my dear is what true fishermen think about NYC fishing. Why don't you go fishing in the real world (where there's wilderness and fish), learn how to cast, catch a shitload of fish and then write about it. Otherwise your like all them dorks on the internet that irritate my friends and I.
A novice talking shit.
Why don't you write about being a beginner? And don't write about all your heroes in New York. The real fly fishing community has never heard of any of them either. I'm starting to think that this "New York is the Center of the World Mentality" does exist now. And yes, I've been there the only thing you have to offer the world is shopping and good food.
A
Do not eat the fish out of NYC Harbor do you know what's on the bottom of it?
She responded with a...
“I don’t care what you think.”
You should care. With your lack of knowledge you wouldn't know a good fishing destination, what constitutes a good guide if it bit you on the ass. People will be able to tell in anything you write. I would hate to see what guide you would think was good. Probably someone that caught two steelhead a year. To you that's a lot because you've never caught any fish.
See you don't even know what makes a good fisherman in what area because you don't know anything. You don't write, I've never heard of you and you'll never make it. Sounds like you write copy to me.
The blind leading the blind. Go out, get off the computer or your word processor and live it. Only then will anything you write be worth a shit. You're just like those stupid bitches on the sidelines at a football game. Like they know dick.
Until you lose the status of wannabe anyone that's anyone will be able to tell.
Even Catherine could write circles around you.
Now that's a low blow.
Good luck. You're gonna need it.
You crack me up. Like you even know what a good guide is. Ha ha ha ha I gotta put your emails up your a perfect example of ignorance.
Angie :)
She then responded that she was going to do an article about female fishing guides for “the fishing and hunting news of NYC”. Wow! I’ve always wanted to be in that magazine. I’ll frame it and put it in my office. I really can’t believe that she’s in any magazine at all. How could she be?
She also said I have no editorial disposition. She’s right. You want to know where I fish and how I catch them? Pay me a million dollars or fuck off, like I’m telling you so I can find people there next season.
sure you're doing an article about female guides, I bet I'll read all about it in that pretend magazine you write for.. by the looks of your picture you are just one of them know it all fat chicks that does something once and she knows everything.
Ahhhhh comparing yourself to Joan Wolfe now, ey? Joan Wolfe can fish and implement a double haul. That's something that takes coordination. None of which a fat chick like yourself would have.
Did you ever wonder why Catherine Hopper ignored you? You're one of them weirdo wannabes hun. Again waiting for a magazine you've been published in.
Doesn't matter about my temperment my little buddha woman. I have experiences and adventures you could never acheive or realize because
You are not attractive or knowledgeable and no real fisherman would give you the time of day.
I can write circles around you. The NE is a cesspool, btw but how would you know different you've never been anywhere.
I love insulting the intolerably stupid but alas I got all the material I need out of you.
Thanks a bunch and if you'd actually fish you might learn to double haul. I can't believe you can't double haul.
Do you walk around with an L on your forehead?
HeeHee
thanks for the picture you remind me of doucherd (hey, isn’t that two know it all freaks from New York City now?)...
A
About my editorial disposition. You're right I don't lay on back and spread my legs waiting for an editor to penetrate me. I am am who I am and that's all that I am.
wait....
that's popeye.
But I think you get the point.
btw, the editors in the NW do not seem to have a problem with me. at least when it comes to fishing with me. I mean, who wants to sell out a river or worse sell out by pumping up some stupid destination resort. Give me a -ucking break. Oh yeah, the editors in the NW also realize what business they are in, DO YOU?
OH GOOD GOD I GOTTA GO! Here’s a brilliant story written by Orting Boy. We went fishing last month and found the lower Skagit and Sauk one big sand box. Only thing missing were our buckets and shovels. Orting Boy kept wanting to build mounds and run match box cars through them. He’s so goddamn immature.
I think Orting Boy captures my quintessenel essence? Don’t you? Hey, did I spell that write? Who the hell cares?
One Friday I was sitting at my computer here at work when I got the little incoming mail notification. So I stopped what I was doing and checked the inbox. It was a quick little note from Angie. “Blah, blah, blah,……… booby ball-less, …… blah, blah, blah, jenni @ ifish, ……. blah, blah, blah, ……. designer fly-fags, …..blah, blah,… by the way. Going to do some bank fishin’ tomorrow. Water might be high, but still might go. Let me know if you want to go.”
So I figured that I really didn’t have much else to do on a cold-ass Saturday mornin’, I decided to go. Got home after work and called the Goddess and asked when and where she wanted to meet. She was still workin’ out babysitting details so she said she would call me back.
A couple of hours later the phone rang, and it was her. She said she had it all planned out, but there was kind of a catch. OrvisBoy would be watchin’ the kid and he needed the truck so I would need to come get her. I forgot about the little fender bender she had up on highway 530, and her truck wasn’t back from the shop yet. Anyway, no problem. I told her I could do that and we agreed that I would pick her up around 4:30 AM.
Next mornin’ I pick Angie up and we headed for the river. We both grew up in the Puyallup valley and graduated high school the same year, so needless to say we had a lot to talk about. We mainly gabbed about how fucked up the Puyallup valley is nowadays. How my hometown of Orting is just being completely taken over by land development. We agreed that maybe if the mountain did blow up it would wipe out the entire valley, and then we could start over. Blah, blah, blah…..
We got to the first hole in the dark and got our gear ready and headed for the river. “I hope the floods didn’t screw up this part of the river, because this is a killer steelhead hole.” Boasted the ever-confident Angie. I was following her through the darkness, when she just stopped walkin’, and I ran right into her. “SHIT!” she was pointing the flashlight to some spot on the bank. “There is no fuckin’ trail here…. Where’s the fuckin’ trail?” she shines the light right in my face as she asks this. “Hell, I don’t know! This is my first time to this spot, you’re the guide.” All I heard was a “Smartass”, from her, and we proceeded up the “trail”. The floods had completely washed out the bank, and the trail went with it.
Like I said, I was following her up the “trail”, so every so often I could hear a soft, “Goddamn floods,” then it would be quiet. “…..did I mention how much I hate floods?…..” Yes, you have my dear.
We hacked our way to the bank only to find that the hole was completely filled in with silt, and there were two logs jammed up right in the middle of the drift. The sun isn’t up yet, but there is more light now, and I can see the disgusted look on Angie’s face. She was pissed. “Well, I’m sorry we had to fight the brush all the way back here. But this hole is screwed.” Then she described to me where the drop-off, and the bucket should be. Just happened to coincide with the logs. Not to mention that the water was high, but it coulda been fishable. So off we scampered to the next hole.
Got to the next spot and waddaya know, it was hammered as well. But it was still fishable. So the same comments about floods that were made at the last hole, were brought back up at this one. But with a bit more vigor. We were makin’ our way to the bank, and Angie advised me of a spot where she had almost sank to her hips in the mud just months earlier. So she hops across the muddy spot between to silt bars and sinks just past her ankles. Well, Angie only weighs about 115. I am 6’ 5” and weigh 245, so you do the math. Needless to say I was up to about my knees in silt. But I managed to get unstuck. Angie baited up and tossed the clump of eggs just above the crease and followed the drift with her rod. Nothin’. Next cast, same spot, different results! Down went the rod, once, twice…. JERK!! For a moment I thought I was standin’ next to Bill Dance, with that hookset. But the fish was on, and after a short fight we landed it. I held up a barely 10 pound buck hatchery brat. “Well that sucks.” Angie says as she works the hook out of its mouth.
“What does?” I hesitantly ask.
“These wussy little half-salt fish.”
“Not even gonna give ‘em a full-salt status are ya?”
“Nope” She said, and we release the fish back to the water. That was all that was said about that. So we decided to move upriver.
We were coming out of the woods from the river, when a car pulled up. Angie politely flipped them the bird and started up the bank. An older gentleman got out and approached us. All I could think of was,.. Buddy keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you. But it was no use. “So, you guys catch anything?”
“Nope.”
“Is the water up?”
“Yep.”
“Nice day to be on the water.”
No answer.
Almost to the truck, and I hear Angie mutter, “Creepy-ass fly fishermen.” Imagine that, I thought. Dude shows up in a rental car with $5,000 worth of fly gear in the back seat. He just happened to pick the wrong chick to ask about fishin’.
In the truck, “Now do you see why most fly fisherman are gay?” I just nodded my head. Oh boy did that dude open a can of worms. The next spot wasn’t more than ¾ of a mile up the river. But I got an ear full of all things gay in the fly fishing community. The best part is though, I am thoroughly enjoyin’ the shit out of this mornin’.
Next spot was completely silted in just like the first. I just happened to mention that the Corps of Engineers was probably letting a lot of water out of the dams due to the rains and such. Oops! Not a good thing to mention. “Fuck the Corps of Engineers, Fuck the rain, Fuck the floods, Fuck fly fisherman, Fuck you, Fuck everyone!” Remember this was just two friends fishin’. So she was entitled to rant and rave. I’ve been with her when she was guiding and she is very professional. Glad this was a non-guide type trip, because I was pushin’ a couple of her buttons anyways. Made her more pissed at the river every time I opened my mouth.
Back in the truck again, and we were now headed upriver. Stopped at a store to get some coffee and Angie noticed a little white pickup parked outside. “See that truck?” she says with a sneer and pointing. “Yep.” I says.
“If that is who I think it is, that truck belongs to the punk that blabbed about my truck accident on booby’s board.” I think she was gritting her teeth while she spoke. “Fucker.”
Walk in the store and she looks at the 4 customers in there tryin’ to figure out who drives the little truck parked out front. With the little sing-song voice she uses when she is being a total Smartass she asks some pimple faced kid, “That your truck?”
“No.” says the kid. “Why?”
“Oh, just because there is this dude that gave some info to my arch nemesis on the web some information about me that drives a truck just like that….. blah, blah, blah.” If you ever get to know Angie, when she starts that sing-song tone with you. You are dead meat. Put your guard up, or run and hide. It can get pretty brutal. Now this kid almost pisses himself and practically asks permission to leave. I just stood there chuckling to myself. Come to find out the truck belonged to a friend of someone in the store that she knew. No bigee.
Now with coffee in hand we head back out to the river. We decided to check out a bad-ass hole that should be holding fish. Neither one of us had a bite through the entire hole. Not even a Dolly! We worked the hole for about 30 minutes and headed downriver to check out a boat launch. “Wanna go four wheelin’?” Angie asks.
“Why?” I asked in return.
When we got to the turn for the ramp my question was answered. It was a muddy ass mess. I drive a monster truck F-250 so we turned into the mud and immediately sank to the axels. I kept my foot on the throttle and we kept forward momentum. The truck lurched out of the mudhole when the tires hit bedrock, and I jumped out and locked in the front hubs. Now we were good. The boat launch had been blasted by the floods and there was a big log across the launch that made it unusable. Now she was even more pissed than before. Did I mention that she bitched a lot about the floods? Just checkin’.
Out of the mud pit and headed back upriver, we were going to check out another boat launch before heading to the next hole. When we got to the next launch, Angie started squealing like a little girl. “Holy Shit, someone actually dumped a truck load of gravel on the launch to repair it. YIPPEE!!!” She jumped out of the truck before I even stopped. She was practically kissing the gravel when I got the truck stopped. She went from a sarcastic, groveling, pain-in-the-ass, to a little kid on christmas. “Guess you’re excited…. huh Ang?”
“HELL, YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!”
However, when we decided to toss some eggs, and some spinners where the run used to be. There was nothin’ there. No fish, no drop off, no hole, no crease, no riffle, no nothin’. Now we go back to bein’ pissed. “Now I have to practically learn the whole damn river over again!” She says. “This totally sucks.”
So we decide that it was time for a beer and a snack, so we head to the truck and dig into the coolers. We both groveled over how screwed up the rivers are, and how faggot dickheads are taking over a cool ass sport like fly fishin’ and ruining it. Getting excellent gear spots on legendary rivers closed to gear, and are now fly fishin’ only (can you say Stilly anyone?). Anyway after all the bitchin’, we hopped back into the truck and headed upriver.
The loggin’ road we were on came to a creek and Angie asked if my truck would cross it. “You should have no problem, because I made through that creek in a Geo Tracker.” As we approached the creek, I saw that it was a complete washout from the runoff. The creekbed was about 4-5 feet deep, with exposed boulders, and the water was runnin’ fairly quick. I got out and locked in the hubs. Then my brain kicked in and said, Dude what the hell are you doin’? So I told Angie there was no way I was goin’ through that. Yeah, I have huge tires and a lifted truck but I wasn’t risking getting’ stuck out in the middle of nowhere. Plus, considering who I was with, I would never live it down. Then she confessed that she crossed the creek with her Tracker about 3 years ago in the summer, and that it was nowhere near that bad.
So we parked up from the stream and walked to our destination. Quite a hike. But it was worth it. Got to our destination and found out that the river had completely changed. There was a small island in the middle of the river where the head of the run used to start. There once were 3-4 foot rollers in the middle, that were now 2 foot rollers over on the far bank. The small boulder garden was also gone. Do I even have to go into what Angie’s reaction was? I didn’t think so. We fished it anyway. I waded out into the current a little and found that the dropoff was still there. And was still full of gravel. I pitched some eggs through the run into the tailout and on about the 4th cast I got robbed!!! I had a hard takedown, but that was it. I yelled upstream to Angie that I had one playin’. Next cast, same deal. Fucker! I went to put on more eggs and was fresh out. Angie was about 50 yards upstream from me, and she had more eggs. Went to get more and told her to get her ass down to where that fish was and cast to it. We both went back to the spot and cast eggs and spinners but to no avail. The bastard was gone. Oh well, we were both workin’ on about 2-3 hours of sleep, so we were ready to throw in the towel.
Back at the truck, we cracked a couple more beers, and got out of our waders for the ride home. Back on the blacktop we were headin’ by the spot where Angie had her little spinout from hell. We were almost to the spot and lo-and-behold, there was a Ford Taurus on it’s top almost in the trees. The state patrol was there along with a wrecker. Angie described to me how she swapped ends with her drift boat on the trailer, and wound up against a tree. Pretty scary stuff. Just think what the world would be like without our beloved mistress of conceit, Angie.
After that, on the way home, everytime we passed a new F-150 king cab, all I heard was, “There’s my truck! See how cute they are.” Even though Angie is gung-ho about fishin’, huntin’, and all that other “manly” type stuff, she still adds that feminine touch to it. When a woman has the tenacity to spend hours on end in the outdoors like she does, and not look like sloppy half man, half cow blob, that is pretty fuckin’ cool. Anyways, we both agreed that the new F-150’s are a total chick truck. Because they are too cute to be a man’s truck.
Then as we passed the new casino in QuilCeda/Tulalip, we noticed a hilarious but horrific sight. A couple was getting married out in front of the big sorry ass lookin’ orca sculpture in the parking lot. YOU GOTTA BE SHITTIN’ ME!!! The bride had a big ass flowing dress on and the groom was in tux-and-tails. You mean to tell me someone actually planned their sorry ass wedding in the parking lot of a casino in front of a hideous statue? This ain’t Vegas my friends. I give up.
Well, that in a nutshell, is a day with Angie. It was a helluva good time. And those of you who don’t get to have an experience like that on the river when you go, are missing somethin’. Your loss.
OrtingBoy
Now that looks like fun! I love the leather hat and cigar nice touch.