SOME SAY I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING
SOME SAY I'M PRETTY HOT
WHAT I SAY IS THIS...
LOOK AT MY FISH AND THAN YOU DECIDE
THERE'S A REASON WHY I'M MISTRESS OF CONCEIT
Well, since the rumours (note the Candadian spelling?) are getting way out of hand. I'd like to tell a little bit about my wonderful self so that I can give you a sense that even though I catch a lot of fish and it's all I do, I am still human.
I can proudly say I'm a Washington Native. Born and raised in the Northwest. I've unfortunately been here long enough to see the horrible transformation from nice redneck logging community to yuppified, over crowded, over built & eco hell that it now is.
I am 33 years old and can remember the days when we could hang out in the neighborhood as small children without worrying about some pyscho kidnapping us, and I can remember bird hunting in the farms all around us with our shotguns & labs and no one caring.
I grew up in the small town of Puyallup and was raised on football, boxing, sports, sports and more sports (daddy was a football coach), muscle hot rods and my boyfriends all wore flannel, and had a gun and a fishing rod in the back window of their monster trucks.
Wanting a better more materialistic life, however (what was I thinking?) I moved up to Seattle and attended and graduated from Seattle University. A nice JESUIT College for a nice Catholic Girl. After 6 years, I finally decided on becoming an accountant with a minor in philosophy.
Now I live in downtown Seattle, but remember folks, I'm a country girl at heart. I'm either going to live in a place that has fine dining, good coffee houses, and shopping or I'm gonna live out in the middle of nowhere and raise my own food. SUBURBIA SUCKS...
I started fishing 7 years ago. I was all screwed up in the beginning because I was gear fishing with fly geeks... But I have learned the very important lesson that it's not what you fish, or how you fish, it's the CATCHING of the fish. What's the most important thing about the fish is that it's beautiful, bright, and if Native RELEASED... (except for the occasional trout, YUM!).
I'm actually pretty boring, all I do is fish, tie flies, plan my next exotic fishin adventure, and than do it all again. All I want to do is to be outdoors and the main purpose of this web site after I shut everyone up, is to share some of my cool experiences and maybe get some recognition as being an entertaining writer.
My main purpose in life is to entertain through the written word, get paid for it and live in Northern BC and fish my perfect ass off!
Well, since I began this site a little over a year ago a lot has happened. I found the perfect husband. You know one of them low maintenance guys that succumbs to my every wish. Like it’s really really hard to talk him into buying boats, guns, and other fun outdoor stuff when he likes all the same stuff I do. Don’t ya know? He’s also a very successful business executive and pretty good in the sack so I don’t have to have all them stupid marital worries that most women do because he’s a good provider and utterly self confident. Thank fuckin God. Don’t ya hate being tied down to one of them needy men or women that have issues? I hate fuckin issues. This leaves me more mental energy to go after the better things in life like a good time outdoors, great adventures outdoors and figuring out the most ultimate fishing adventures. What else could a girl ask for in the perfect marriage?
The only thing bad about our marriage is the fact that the bastard knocked me up too soon. So we are expecting our first child together this summer. Unfortunately, Orvis Boy is a loser in the sperm department like my ex, so I will be having another little girl. Which means I now have three girls that have to be forced to go fishing. I love my girls but it’s sad that they don’t have that gumption to go play with dirty insects, impale innocent sandshrimp and worms on hooks or want to freeze their buns off in the winter to bonk a slimy creature on the head. It’s a shame indeedy. They are being trained in the fine arts of outdoor sports and have taken a liking to hunting and shooting. Maybe there is hope that someday they will find the same love for fishing as I do.
I also would like to mention that I have a shitload of other hobbies that I like to do. One can not just fish that would make one really boring. I love to cook and have been called the best cook out of anyone that knows me. Gourmet is the only way to go and there’s nothing I can’t reproduce from any of the finest Seattle Restuarants. Especially if it’s Mediaterrean. I will not lay any claims to Asian Cooking fame because I have not travel down that neck of the woods yet. My cooking abilities can be witness by Orvis Boy’s ever increasing belly. One day I may cook healthy but that probably won’t be till he has a heart attack.
I love fine wines and I like to collect them. I wish Orvis Boy made more money for this hobby to really get going, but he will someday. Our new house will have a nice wine cellar. No residence would be complete without one.
I also love to body build. Been doing it since I was 14. I believe in keeping in shape. I detest people that can’t stay healthy and refuse to be in good shape. There is no excuse for being a fat pig. You are what you eat and you are what you do. If you can’t go fishing because you can’t handle the hike in, you are a pathetic loser and deserve it when people call you such. If you don’t like being fat do something about it. Why should anyone feel sorry for you because you’re pathetically lazy? Really, Why?
Gardening. Yup, I have a very green thumb. If you go in my backyard you’ll find something out of Martha Stewart. I’m so sick I even planted a shady garden. OH MY GAWD!!! Since I have to have cut flowers all year long and Orvis Boy can be such a cheap bastard he decided to build me all sorts of beds so that I can grow cut flowers for 9 months out of the year. Don’t be fooled by my beautiful garden. If one were to really dig in it they’d find all of them dead neighborhood cats buried back there, shot by my cute little girls. Shit in my garden and knock over my Walla Walla Onions you flea ridden varmits.
Kind of sounds like I’ve turned into Martha don’t it? Well, hey since I’m stuck at home with an infant I might as well become the perfect wife. What better way to spend your time? Really? If you have children it’s your responsibility to raise them and in doing so you should do it to your best ability. Your house should be immaculate and stylish, you should have a beautiful yard, and you should be able to cook your husband fantastic meals after a hard day of work. It’s tradition and I’m proud that I’m so perfect at it. Beats having to work and spend time away from your family and taking orders from some pyscho boss. Don’t ya think?
No wrinkles, long beautiful hair, no wrinkles, nice perfect skin and did I mention no wrinkles?
The outdoors wreaks havoc on a woman's skin. I just can be thankful I'm not a skiier...
I have made quite a bit of media contacts but no interviews or stories have occurred because of my pregnancy. Do I really mind? Not really. My web site is primarily a hobby and a promotion for my part time guiding business and not a quest for fame. It’s not a quest for the “Super Id” either. It’s for fun and should be treated as such. If someone wants to make more of it by all means go for it, but I have no desire to do anything beyond what I’m doing or to seek it out. I’ll leave that for the people that are pathetically empty and think that fame will fill such a void. They can make fools of themselves to be accepted by the masses. I could give a shit who accepts me.
My web site since it’s inception has developed into just one fishing gal’s expression of her views of what she conceives of as being wrong and right with today’s outdoor world. It was created to express what I hope for my audience to enjoy what I feel to be humour in my world. What I find funny others may not. What I find apalling others may not. What I find damn wrong or damn right in this world others may or may not agree with me. As I say all over my web site. If you don’t like it go somewhere else and be petty and whine.
So inconclusion please enjoy what you read and feel free to comment on it if you like. That is if you are prepared for the consequences. I don’t take shit from anyone nor will I. If you send me an “I don’t agree with you, you racist unpolitically correct slut.” Then you will get the email thrashing of your life in Angie fashion which could range from the completely absurd & bizarre to the completely obnoixous. Remember I love controversy. It’s a change of pace for my usually quiet existence.
You my audience can make me the bad guy or the good guy. It’s all in your perception of what you want. As I’ve warned before. I don’t really care because I’m not politically correct nor will ever succumb to it. I wish more people felt as I do and I think half the population does, they just aren’t as vocal about it. Why is that you ask?
The politcally correct are the ugly people of society that have nothing better to do then to try to cram their beliefs and opinions down people’s throats.
The un politically correct are the attractive people of society that could care less and are too busy having fun to care. We should be careful because if we don’t put a reign on the Pcers they will make damn sure that they try to regulate our fun as much as possible.
What part of that don’t you understand?
.08 alcohol level
teenagers not allowed to drive till they’re 18
seat belt law / helmut laws
marijuana not being legal laws
catch and release no bait rivers
more stricter gun controls
Here I am feeding Orvis Boy. This has become a common occurence in our marriage. I bet the tux he bought for the wedding doesn't fit him anymore.
I also shouldn't wear four inch heels around him. What does that make me 6 foot 1?
Brenda and I showing Orvis Boy how to do the wedding toast correctly. During his first marriage the bride's family didn't allow alcohol. That right there would of made me run to the hills...
Cohos just don't come that big butttt this year I saw some late arrivals rotting on the river bank that were 25 to 30....
Now that's just monstrous!
Why do I make fun of people that wear life vests? Because when you're on the bank of a river unless you're under the age of 6, there really isn't a need unless you're a dumbass...
